I think I made you up inside my head
by madasalways
Summary: A series of drabbles and short stories written for letswritesherlock challenge 3, stories based off of songs. Each chapter stands alone, rated M for some sex and language.
1. Apologies

**A/N:** This is a series of drabbles and short stories written for letswritesherlock challenge 3. I'll put the title and artist of the song each story is based on at the beginning. Each chapter stands alone. Rated M for some sex and language. Enjoy!

* * *

**Title: **Apologies**  
Song: **Apologize, by One Republic**  
Summary: **Sherlock tries to apologize, John doesn't want to hear it, and there is some angry touching.**  
****Rating: **M**  
****Pairing: **John and Sherlock**  
****Genre: **Romance/post-reichenbach **  
****Length: **772 Words

* * *

"John."

_John, I had to. John, you must understand. John, I did it for you! _

"John -"

Drenched in sweat, swallowing any apologies he is trying to offer, John won't let him ruin this.

"John, _please -"_

Lips swollen from angry kisses, back littered with scratches, dark curls matted to his forehead, John _won't let him apologize. _

"Stop it, Sherlock. Just let me - let me have this, just for tonight, please -"

Fingers searching, exploring what has finally been returned to him. John might be crying, he might be sweating, he doesn't know and he doesn't care. Sherlock is lying underneath him, shirtless and slick with sweat, reaching out to touch John in places he didn't know he needed to be touched.

"Fuck you, Sherlock. _Fuck you -"_

And then they're kissing again, tongues battling, and Sherlock is determined to give John an apology he refuses to accept. Sherlock's tongue swipes across John's lower lip after his teeth sink in, and he swallows John's moan.

Sherlock is fighting for dominance, and for once John won't allow him to have it. For once, John takes control, and for once, Sherlock is going to know what it's like to be at someone else's mercy.

"John, _please!"_

He's begging for something different now, something that John needs just as much as Sherlock, and he wraps his legs around Sherlock's waist, pressing their bodies together. His tongue traces a path from jawline to collarbone, tasting the salty skin and sucking a bruise.

"Let me - please, John -"

He wishes Sherlock would stop trying to talk, doesn't he understand that it's too late for that? It's too late for his apologies and explanations, it was always too late, he doesn't want to hear it, any of it, he just wants to touch, and Sherlock won't even give him that.

"Stop it!" John shouts, wrapping his fingers around Sherlock's wrists and slamming them into the mattress, pinning them above his head. His breathing is ragged, Sherlock is gazing at him, eyes wide and lips parted, and John wants lean down and bite his mouth off his face.

"You can't, Sherlock! You just - you fucking can't do this!"

Sherlock arches his back, pressing their hips together, and John hisses a moan, diving down to attack those plush lips, sucking biting tearing devouring suffocating -

"Never," Sherlock gasps into John's mouth, and John drinks that word, loves the way it tastes in his mouth, "Never again, John, don't you understand -"

He doesn't. He doesn't understand; he never will, he doesn't _want _to, he doesn't understand why Sherlock ever thought it would be okay to disappear, and now he knows he is crying, the tears are stinging his eyes, and reaches between them, fingers wrapping around Sherlock's cock, and the detective cries out, beautiful and raw and John rubs his thumb over his slit, and Sherlock is bucking underneath him and he wants to taste.

"I can't, don't you see, John, I can't -"

John isn't sure that Sherlock knows what he is trying to say, they're just words, and they've lost all meaning, and the world may have stopped turning, John doesn't know, but Sherlock is moaning and John is crying and it's all so utterly _fucked. _

_"_For you, John," Sherlock is whimpering, "Always for you, _always..."_

John is pumping his hand and his lips are pressed against that silly little mole at the base of Sherlock's neck, and he feels Sherlock coming, spilling over his hand, and he doesn't quite know what to call the sound that comes from his mouth, but he catches it in his own, swallowing and coming back for more.

"Never," John says harshly, burying his face in Sherlock's neck, "You can never - never again, Sherlock, _never!" _

He doesn't quite know what he's talking about, he's not sure if Sherlock knows either, but he isn't sure he wants to know. He's tangled in pale limbs and grief and anger and resentment and it leaves a sour taste in his mouth, so he washes it away with Sherlock's whimpers, scraping his teeth along his bottom lip and tangling his fingers in that damp forest of curls. He is wrapped up in Sherlock, drowning in Sherlock and sweat and sex and he is still furious with him, and he hates him, and he turns his head and presses his lips to Sherlock's shoulder.

"You took my heart, Sherlock, don't you understand that?"

Sherlock wraps an arm firmly around John's shoulders, and his response is so quiet John isn't sure he hears it correctly.

"John...I took yours and left mine with you..."


	2. Stuck, Part I

**Title:** Stuck, Part I  
**Song:** Haunted, by Evanescence**  
**Summary:** Sherlock has returned from the grave, and John has been keeping a secret from him.  
**Rating: **T  
**Pairing:** Johnlock  
**Genre:** Drama/Angst  
**Length:**

****This drabble is based off of one line from Haunted:**  
_Long lost words whisper slowly to me_  
_Still can't find what keeps me here_  
_When all this time I've been so hollow inside_  
_I know you're still there_

* * *

Rain fell gently from the sky, covering John's coat with a layer of mist. His fingers curled around a bouquet of wilted roses.

"I don't know why I'm here," He said quietly.

He didn't know why the tombstone was still here. It should have been taken down when Sherlock returned, but Mycroft hadn't seen to it yet. It was just as well; it sat here, a reminder of Sherlock's mortality.

A reminder that as cold as he seemed, Sherlock Holmes was just as human as the rest of the world.

He shouldn't still be coming here. It wasn't healthy. Sherlock wouldn't have approved.

What Sherlock didn't know might kill him.


	3. Stuck, Part 2

**Title:** Stuck, Part II  
**Song:** Haunted, by Evanescence**  
**Summary:** Sherlock has returned from the grave, and John has been keeping a secret from him.  
**Rating: **T  
**Pairing:** Johnlock  
**Genre:** Drama/Angst  
**Length: **100 words

****This drabble is based off of one line from Haunted:**  
_Long lost words whisper slowly to me_  
_Still can't find what keeps me here_  
_When all this time I've been so hollow inside_  
_I know you're still there_

* * *

"Where are you going?"

John stopped with his hand on the doorknob, sighing deeply.

"Out."

He didn't look at Sherlock, didn't offer any other explanation. His fingers tightened around the doorknob.

"John."

A smiled twisted John's lips. He knew. Of course he knew. What could he say, though? What the hell could he possibly say?

"I'm here, John. I'm right here."

"Sherlock…"

Yes, he was here. And he was there. Sherlock was everywhere, really, and John still didn't quite know what to think of that.

"I'll be back by dinner."

Silence for a moment.

"Get some patches while you're out."


End file.
